so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
