I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
