do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
