Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
In other news, I just burned my penis
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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