No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
