Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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