my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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