um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
