A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
