I looked at my own cervix.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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