So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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