I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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