Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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