who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We won't sleep together?
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
