I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My vagina is very pro this idea
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize