I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
