and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Someone came in the potted fern
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
