I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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