i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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