The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
