Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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