It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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