Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
