idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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