You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
