i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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