it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
