I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
