eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
