But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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