i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
