You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
