If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She just used a chaser for red wine.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
