If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
