we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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