i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
