need another drink. this is the easiest way
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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