my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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