Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
