I hope mine doesn't look like that
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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