btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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