my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
