apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
be right there i have to get my cape
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
