I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
