i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
