there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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