I love black thongs
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
