I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
