That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Im part way to drunk.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
