You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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