I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
