people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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